


Last Resort

by CookiesAndFandoms



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon is defenestrated, Crack, Gen, Idk man I thought it was funny, for sake of humor and because I like everyone alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27067621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookiesAndFandoms/pseuds/CookiesAndFandoms
Summary: Jon quits, but in doing so he.. well.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Last Resort

Jon, Sasha, and Martin were gathered in the break room, puzzling over a particularly confusing statement over tea when Tim burst in and with all the drama of a stereotypical Gay shouted, “I have excellent news, you CAN resign!”

Three separate versions of, “WHAT!?” could be heard echoing out of the archives, ricocheting through the Institute and out onto the street, scaring all pedestrians within a hundred-meter radius away, which, if we’re being honest, was probably the best thing that could have happened to them all day.

The three pelted the man with questions which were all slight, yet creative, variants on, “WHAT THE FUCK TIM, HOW!?!?”

Tim grinned, his eyes so wicked that even the Desolation would shy away from his fiery gaze, and told them what they must do. The gasps let out by the three who previously had not heard such sin as must be done to leave the Institute were so loud and so horrified that the very air crackled.

“No!”

“How dare-!”

“There must be another way!”

“No…”

“Fine.”

Martin and Sasha gasped as Jon reached the final stage of grief, acceptance. He would do what must be done. Shakily, he pulled out a piece of paper. He winced as he took a pen from his pocket and uncapped it. He put pen to paper and, with a grimace wrote his resignation from The Magnus Institute.

_ I, Jonathan Sims, hereby resign from The Magnus Institute of London as it is an unstable, unsatisfactory and unsafe working environment. _

The building shook, the ceiling cracked, the shelves trembled. Once again, the door burst open. “What have you done,” the voice of Elias Bouchard boomed, “and tell me, was it worth it?” 

Jon collapsed on the floor, tears flowing down his cheeks, and sobbed, “I don’t know! I don’t know.”

The three assistants had to look away. It hurt too much to look at the man who now lay broken on the floor, shattered by what he had just done.

Jonah Magnus shook his head, “You’ve won Ar- Jonathan. You’ve won, but at what cost?” And then he left. He left, and there was nothing left but three shocked researchers and the heap of the creature that once was their boss.

It was a trade. He would have lost his humanity one way or another. You decide reader. You decide which is a worse way to go, losing your soul to a horrific being that feeds on the trauma of the innocent and strips away all that is private, tells what must not be told, shares what must not be shared, or...

Or is it worse, is it worse to commit the ultimate sin, do the unthinkable, and write a list without the Oxford comma?

**Author's Note:**

> The American School System taught me nothing about punctuation, but my father was very insistent on this One Thing.
> 
> That being said, there are probably punctuation/grammar mistakes in here, but isn't it funnier that way?


End file.
